Skip to main content

Matrimony

 I had thoroughly enjoyed the advertisement made by the company "Jeevansaathi.com", where they depict the bride's father holding a turban and running behind every perspective groom, trying to see if he is the most suitable groom for his daughter. The best part is the questioning eyes of father to daughter when he symbolically places turban on the boy's head. the daughter's anguish is a separate hilarious subject to be discussed elsewhere.

Today we are in the process of looking for a suitable groom for our daughter and the sentiments of above mentioned advertisement resonate perfectly with us. When my husband and I married decades ago, it was clear to us that decision of marriage should rest entirely with the perspective bride and groom. The perfect story goes as " The boy meets the girl. They fall in love, their parents( supposedly the society) oppose the union, they both struggle to bring them on board,the loving couple wins, the marriage happens, and they live happily everafter."

But no one tells the other version of story which goes " the marriage happens, the mundane routine of life sets in, the couple worries about earning, the excitement goes down, comparison with friends and neighbours happen, differences of opinions surge , separating looks easy than carrying on and love turns ugly."

The story goes same whether it is a love, arranged or love-cum-arranged marriage. Though I personally believe the last one seems most sensible. Times have changed drastically with generations and even for majority of parents the best option is to let their children take the lead and decide for themselves. If you are one of the strict lot of parents, the best you can do is to tell them your boundaries with caste, status, religion etc and even give them various options but the final choice has to be theirs.

This seems like flying a kite, though far up but still tied to a rope. I am sure many wont't agree to this notion but we all know what happens to a kite if detached from its anchor. Hence we need to be their nudge and help them decide because whoever they choose, its never going to be perfect. Things will be messy and complicated in future(thats's for sure),but at least that way they will be carrying the responsibilty for their decisions.

No marriage is ever perfect. It is always "work in progress", provided both parties are willing to work upon it. For Gen Z this notion is slighly difficult to grasp hence parents need to be weights on their children's marriage certificate. Else the papers can easily drift apart. 









Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mystic Mechanic

Lost in woods      She looked here and there helplessly but no one was around. In hills it is difficult to get help. The local population is very less, that too distributed sparsely across various villages. She had no idea where she was. She had left Nainital at four in the evening and she was trying to make it to Ramnagar that same evening. She had a quarterly meet of her company at a resort in Ramnagar, famous for its Jim Corbett National Park . Now there were many beautiful resorts in Ramnagar one after the other, where tourists flocked for their wild-life adventures. These resorts on the bank of the river Kosi made a perfect destination for weddings and conference for corporate. Everything was going fine when on third day of her conference she decided to break loose and visit her aunt in Nainital. Her aunt had insisted that she stay overnight as it was not safe to drive in hills in evening. But the road was so good and drive so scenic she ignored all...
6 comments
Read more

“The visit of a four year old to nainital zoo”

Today I fulfilled my long awaited desire of visiting a zoo with my four yearold child. It happened in the beautiful ambience of Nainital. Visiting a place like Nainital always works wonders on me. The thing that scores best in this place is the’lovely misty weather’. I was really apprehensive when I had checked the weather forecast before reaching here. It predicted all rainy days , which I felt would spoil my trip. But it turned otherwise. In the past three days , the weather has been really unpredictable , but pleasant. I am sure ,sitting among the floating clouds can really soothe anyone,s psyche. Today morning it rained heavily for many hours. I was not sure whether we would be really able to execute our plan of visiting the Nainital zoo. When my son Shreesh woke up, the heavy downpours had turned into drizzles. We got ready, packed our bags and started the uphill task of climbing almost hundred stairs near our home-stay. After every eight to ten stairs, we used to pa...
4 comments
Read more

Meeting the philosopher..

This was her first job and she had come with her uncle to see the college. Her uncle also happened to teach in the same college and this had put her quite in ease. She knew she had a support to fall back on. She was quite terrified to be in a campus where all the students were from very affluent families. This was an engineering college in national capital region which ran primarily on capitation fee. Hence the students who could manage to take admission in this college were born to rich or super-rich parents. We call it ‘ovarian –lottery’. She was wearing a maroon cotton suit, dupatta taken like a shawl, which made her look ‘desi’ yet elegant. She was quite unsure how she was going to tackle the ‘Porsche ambience ‘of the college. But she was determined to make it. After taking a round of the college her uncle left her at her department. There were three people in the department. Two middle-aged men who were supposedly the professors and a young man, whom she guessed to ...
3 comments
Read more